If you, or someone you have regular sex with, suffers from any of the following conditions, our uniquely revolutionary supplement formula may be exactly the thing needed to shed forever the shackles of abject stupidity.

• Taking sides with mother, even though her personal life is a wreck
• Asking of no-win questions like “Is that woman prettier than me?” or “which of my friends would you most want to sleep with?”
• Outlandishly irrational behavior, even if limited to one week a month
• Inability to understand the most rudimentary of sports plays, like the suicide squeeze or rules pertaining to add-on penalties
• Permits flirting with modestly attractive men who are obviously criminals or drug addicts
• Drunken dancing to Debbie Harry songs
• Dishonesty regarding birth control
• Propensity for paying dry cleaners triple value for like garments
• Belief that over-priced food products can somehow improve weight loss
• Gossip
• Penchant to lovingly hang out with the uncle or step-father who sexually abused her
• Complete ignorance to tanks and other military instruments
• Inability to understand long-distance telephone rates
• Lack of capacity to open her own jars
• Misunderstanding of the concept of “packing light”
• Favor towards cable channels such as Oxygen, WETV and PAX
• General lack of curiosity about strange, new noises coming from under the hood
• Orgasm ratio of less than 1:1 from sexual encounters
• Inability to get ready and leave the house within 15-90 minutes
• Possession of a purse, specifically if she ever says “I can never find anything in here!”
• Group visits to public restrooms
• Trivial knowledge of useless information such as anniversaries, birthdays, etc.
• Crying
• Favors flowers, even knowing how quickly they will shrivel and die forever
• Preference towards the so-called “foreplay” business, which everybody knows is optional
• Failure to use the world as a urinal
• Imaginary kinship with the late Princess Diana
• Inability to have sex with someone just because she doesn’t like them
• Phrases like “So… notice anything different?” or “Do you know what today is?”

If you or someone you love (or would like an opportunity to love) is afflicted by one or more of the symptoms listed above, she may suffer from Female Stupidity, a growing problem across our great land, but one that has a cure. You don’t need to be ashamed of it, or make any excuse. Just read a bit more, come to understand that there is another option, and it doesn’t involve decades of unsuccessful counseling.